Links from July 2010
Below you'll find a selection of some of the fucked up, geeky, or just plain interesting things that I have come across via the interwebs.
If you think you have something I'd like, click here to tell me about it!
To turn our attention to less awful links for a while check out this little snippet about rendering objects invisible to the human eye. It's a long way from practical application, but I'm pretty sure it'll have geeks daydreaming happily for a while in any case.
Pope Uses Sith Powers To Gain Immunity This post may be wrong.This post might have something to do with religion.
Okay so no, no actual Sith powers were used. However as you can see from this article, the UK are looking to change current rules around Universal Jurisdiction to avoid the possibility of campaigners to have him detained on his next visit to the UK.
Parents Lose Child They Were "Faith Healing" This post may be wrong.This post may be wrong.This post might have something to do with religion.
You can flap your gums all you like about parents knowing better than doctors what's wright for their child, there are times like this when they're just plain wrong. It's only fair that I point out, should you actually try to tell me that refusing medical treatment to children on grounds of religious observance is okay, you can expect to be treated like insane piece-of-shit ignorant
fucked-up mentally deficient asshole
waste of space mouth-breathing
morally compromised cuntcrazy person.
I'm not sure I have the appropriate vocabulary to describe Hedo Rick right now... It's something you have to see for yourself.
In news from Portland, Oregon, a carload of partygoers dressed up as zombies crashed on the way to said party, their make-up leading onlookers to conclude that the kids were severely injured. Kinda lucky no-one decided to Double-tap them huh?
Imagine if you could download a pattern and grow your own clothing in a vat... These crazy kids are growing bacterial-cellulose to produce clothing... kinda awesome, though I'm sure some people will find it disturbing.
They're looking to pass regulations for Fortune Tellers, including criminal background reports, in the city of Warren, Michigan. That's just awesome.
With characters like Stormie, Bubble Fet-ish, and R2-tutu, Slabba the Slut you just know this is going to be very popular with a particular subculture.
It begins: "Ordinary phonograph record merchandising as it exists today is a stupid process which concerns itself essentially with pieces of plastic, wrapped in pieces of cardboard." and gets better.
Possibly at the very beginning of training for any job, they should warn you not to be a creepy fucker and use information gained from your job to get in touch with teenage girls. Maybe just a quick 10 minute roleplay or something and then move on to the fire alarm procedure? You wouldn't think it'd be required but apparently so...
I think what we can all learn something from this little bit of advertising from yesteryear.
I enjoyed this little rant about the changing face of journalism, in particular what he has to say about the lost art of the Headline.
Vatican Act Like Fucking Assholes - Catholics Surprised This post might have something to do with religion.This post may be wrong.
This article begins "VATICAN CITY — The Vatican issued revisions to its internal laws on Thursday making it easier to discipline sex-abuser priests, but caused confusion by also stating that ordaining women as priests was as grave an offense as pedophilia."
What the FUCK is this?Pardon?
It's this sort of shit that leaves me at a loss as to how some of the really wonderful people I know can bear to call themselves Catholics. To my mind keeping your head down and continuing to support a church that repeatedly makes such awful judgments is tantamount to saying there's nothing wrong with it. Honestly, I love you people but the sheer enormity of denial is staggering.
I'd laugh if it wasn't so tragic: "The new rules do not, for example, hold bishops accountable for abuse by priests on their watch, nor do they require them to report sexual abuse to civil authorities — though less formal “guidelines” issued earlier this year Can you imagine if a secular institution
that people trust with their children
(such as a school or a daycare) was found
to only"encourage" reporting of
sexual abuse, but not require it?
Would we all be screaming foul?
You bet your arse we would!
How is this not deplorable?encourage reporting if local law compels it."
Some goodness from boingboing.net, some engineers at Dyson have created an entertaining demonstration of inducement & entrainment using their Air Multiplier™ fans. Check it out.
I found this 5 minute animated short by Joaquin Baldwin to be damn well done. He invites us to examine the trials of a Windmill Farmer, and he manages to get his message across beautifully without any words at all.
Yahweh Hits Tough Times, Begins To Liquidate Assets This post might have something to do with religion.
Fitting in nicely with my worldview that Religious people are See also:fucking nuts, delusional, full of shit, not to be trusteda bit kooky, this article about a man claiming to have bought a house from Yahweh (as in the Judaic God). Strangely (as the article points out) he's been declared fit to stand trial.
So after much drama (documented here) you can check out the Guide To Cognitive Dissonance Theory for Juggalos. Science is fun!
Some might not have any idea what this is about, you might get some (incredibly NSFW) clarification here.
Who says the internet can't educate? Naysayers should check out this classy little bit of info-tainment afore they make such statements.
So it's now a new life-goal of mine to spend an entire sexual interaction talking like John Bunnell of World's Wildest Police Videos fame, yet still bring What can I say; I like to dream big.her to climax.
This fake advertisement taken from the movie Tokyo Gore Police is just so full of awesome wrongness... Very handy for showing people out of context to encourage a xenophobic world view!
Eat Your Way To A Successful Honeymoon This post may be geeky.This post might occupy a lot of your time.This post might occupy a lot of your time.
Don't like destroying things? Like eating? Maybe Sushi Cat: The Honeymoon could very well be right up your alley.
Apologies to fat people who thought this might be actual helpful advice.
Do you have a burning need to know if one website loads faster than another? Well then my good friend your troubles are over! This website allows you to compare the two, settling it without I'm happy to say that
I'm kicking the shit out of www.hustler.com,
regarding load speeds at least...
Now if only I had their readership.bias.
Have a look at these photos of the "birth" of a Real Doll. You might also find interesting this interview with Matt McMullen the creator of the series, and also Guys & Dolls, a documentary on I haven't watched this yet;
I wanna get myself a Fleshlight before I do...people who own them.
Flash For Friday This post may be geeky.This post might occupy a lot of your time.This post might occupy a lot of your time.
Who likes destroying things? Well all do right? Well Crush The Castle 2 puts you in charge of a trebuchet and your job is to fling various objects at various structures and make them fall down go boom. DO IT.
Click here for a video showing what our robotic overlords are likely to resemble. This little guy is damn cool but also reminds me a lot of the Headcrabs from Half Life.
The fine people at Know Your Meme produce quality infotainment all the time, but this time is special, as Weird Al Yankovic has joined them. Yeah I know he's barely featured. It's still kinda He's my hero. One day he'll start
answering my fan letters again
and he'll write me a special song
and we'll live together forever
under the stars.
Okay not really but I still
remember seeing "FAT"
for the first time as a kid.special.
There's nothing quite so satisfying as watching somone else's life go down the toilet is there? Okay so yeah there's a lot of things I'd rather be doing, but it does warm my heart to know that Mel Gibson, that god-bothering crazy person from the Land Down Under, is fast running out of allies in Hollywood. Fun quotes from recordings of his recent phone conversations:
"You're an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking pig in heat and if you get raped by a pack of niggers it will be your fault"
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down...but you will blow me first"
This guy makes me look classy.
We've all been here, right guys?
Yeah well fuck you all I'm still sexy.
Good News Everyone! This post may be funny.This post may be geeky.This post might occupy a lot of your time.
This Is Freaking Ridiculous This post may be funny.This post may be wrong.This post may be geeky.This post might occupy a lot of your time.
TIFR will eat up your spare time like a By this I mean it'll eat a lot,
not it'll do so in a way that is
truly horrible to witness when you
come home from your day at work
to find him standing in front of the fridge
just shovelling cold curry into it's mouth,
spilling down the front of it's worn hoodie...
*shudder*stoned housemate raiding the kitchen. Whether you're checking out ridiculous accidental explosions, people dressed as restaurant mascots cutting sick in a night of binge drinking and drug abuse, or just LEGO guns that work (somewhat). Don't visit if you have to be somewhere important sometime soon.
Just go and watch this creepy, creepy girl. I'll never think of this song quite the same again. That's a good thing.
I can feel an Archive Binge coming on now that I've found Amazing Superpowers, a webcomic that had me chuckling at the FAQ. Yeah that's right. I chuckled. Got a problem with that? Well maybe you should go read the webcomic and stop getting all weird about my chuckles...
Check out this flickr photoset of classic Illusions, however with one important difference... they only look like the Illusions... for example in the picture here the central dots actually are different sizes, as opposed to the illusion it's based on where they are the same but appear different... The best thing for me is the comments, slowly filling with people who don't understand the joke and calling the creator out on it...
I always figured there was a really good reason for batteries to be required to sit one way or the other... It turns out I was wrong... Behold a battery compartment that swings both ways! Unfortunately it looks like it'll be quite a while before this becomes a common thing...
Andreas Heikaus created this video as part of his Bachelor Thesis. All I care about is the geek-factor. So many hours wasted away with this game when I was young and charming...
So this clip is hardly new, and the joke has been around for a long time, but I hate the idea that any of you might not have seen The Aristocrats performed as a card trick. Enjoy.
Yes, I'm an enormous geek, so I love this sort of thing. This could take a huge chunk of my time...
This is an interesting exchange between a composer and a teenage girl who he finds sharing sheet music to something he wrote. It's not especially funny, just interesting.
At the risk of sticking to a theme, have a look at this metafilter post about motorcycle modification.
Boingboing.net have once again provided some gold, check out the video they've linked there entitled "How a Triumph Motorcycle Is Not Actually Made", it'll make you a better person, As if I would know...I promise.
What you expected me to know?
I'm feeling far too lazy to find out who...Someone has compiled what they consider to be The 100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes of All Time and The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time. Take your pick, or do what I did... watch one of the cheesy variety, followed immediately by one of the insults. Oh the laughter.
Wow, this is much better than my idea to demand clowns and magicians at my wake! Apparently it was his dying wish to be displayed astride his favourite motorcycle... Now I've heard good things about the Honda CBR but damn. The same place helped another guy out with the request to be standing for his own wake... There's footage of his loved ones walking through, giving him a kiss on the cheek as they go by etc...
Excuse me, gotta go make a couple of amendments to my Will...
Not a whole lot to say about this one, except I think it's funny.
In more aquatic-themed news, Boingboing.net gives us a link to some dog fish writhing about even after being beheaded and skinned... This led me on a youtube binge where I found footage like frogs legs twitching after the application of salt and a guy eating Sashimi while the dying fish who it's made up of swims in a tank in front of him...
Check out this article on a huge, extinct, carnivorous whale they've named Leviathan melvillei. I love the quote at the end of the article by a paleontologist from Melbourne, Australia...
I just love hidden stuff like this, secret entrances etc... hell I I say almost, glad I didn't,
but damn it was tempting!
I can feel you judging me, stop it.almost bought a house based almost entirely on the grounds that I could really easily create a hidden room within it.
I stumbled across this ZombieFit site, and I love the idea. I mean it I prefer to delude myself
that sex is fantastic excercise
and spend a whole lot of time
chasing that rather then
It's worth it when it works though...hasn't got me up off my butt and working out, but y'know, tomorrow I'll start. Maybe the next day...
Apparently, for about six months before The Empire Strikes Back came out you could call a hotline and listen to recorded messages of the characters yammer on to get your Star Wars fix.
Louis CK Is A Funny Fucker This post may be funny.This post may be wrong.This post might occupy a lot of your time.
Check out this Metafilter link, there's a whole lot of Louis CK being funny. Most of this stuff is not especially work safe, but if you cared about that I figure you wouldn't be here right?
So Lenny Kravitz is chilling out with a buddy and he hears one of his songs being covered by a choir... so he hoofs it down the street to watch, and join in. Some might say this is egomania, but I reckon these kids thought it was pretty damn cool. Looks like he had fun too.
Okay so it's not like he actually says he shared it with Michael Jackson himself, but I couldn't resist using the same trick the Sneaky little liars...good folk at the Big Issue did. And it's still and interesting article.
So apparently in the USA you get a McNugget that's just a little different to what you might get in Europe... I can understand there'd be a few people who would be put off by the idea that they share a chemical with the kids toy.
Check out this video of a guy sobbing with joy as he witnesses a double rainbow... I'd like to say it's heartwarming but it honestly scares me that people can assign such importance to stuff like this... I mean it's cool and everything but by the time he's sobbing about not knowing what it means as if it must mean something he's verging over into the Also known as the
Should Not Be Allowed To Breed Or Vote
zone.crazy hobo zone.
"Upon entering Paul’s house, I walked in on two men vigorously Apparently this is not sex talk.wanding a third in the living room. I watched and awkwardly asked a few questions about exactly what was going on before introducing myself."
Apparently the Amega Amwand is the latest way to get people to part with their cash in exchange for pseudo-science. Check out this video for a demonstration of just how And if you believe that boy oh boy
have I got a deal for you!effective these things are...
Now see I've never liked this dude, and this article hasn't helped at all... Along with the above quote he says "The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."
Of course I've never been a huge fan of people who say crap like "people, especially young people, don't have enough God in their lives".
Seriously, read the article it's full of stuff like that, but I'll leave you with just one more
He adds earnestly: "Playing electric guitar your whole life does something to you. I'm convinced all that electricity racing through my body made me keep my hair."
Yup. Are you fucking kidding me?
TOTALLY a freak.Not a freak at all.
Toplessrobot.com have compiled a list of their top 10 picks for AKA: Shit Your Pants Scary
I'm sorry America, but you fuckers are scary
when you start waving that flag...Exceedingly Patriotic American Comic Book Heroes. Enjoy!
Finally a programming language even I can use! "To program in IRP#IRP, join the #IRP channel on irc.freenode.net, then simply write, in plain English, in polite command form, what you intend for your program to do. If other IRP programmers (knowingly or not!) are on the channel, and are in a good mood, you should get the appropriate response. "
Tired of having to hold or otherwise prop up your mobile device to while viewing video? Tired of having dignity? Then the Tv Hat is for you!