Links from October 2010
Mark, also known as The Nintendo Drummer plays along with a selection of oldschool game soundtracks.
I have fond memories of very occasionally being able to play an arcade machine of Ghosts & Goblins while waiting at the Fish & Chip shop. It was provided sweet sweet succor to my young mind at the time, I used to hang out for those chances.
Also pretty sure I wasn't any good at all.
The guys over at CostumeGate are a cheeky bunch of ragamuffins. Apparently all you need to do to avoid copyright issues is rename a character.
For example, the pictured costume: clearly Elmo right? Well they call him "Red Fur Man".
Better get in and order quick folks, they're offerring "100% Off World Shipping"!
Different things excite different people. I'm sure we're all familiar with the guy who got really excited about a Double-Rainbow.
Unfortunately, a far more common example is the guy here getting excited by cars smashing into each other.
Take one large watermelon.
Remove most of the flesh.
Place small boy inside watermelon.
Videotape him eating it from the inside.
I've never felt the need to put a profanity warning on a post before.
However, if you're easily offending by bad language, you're probably not into a whole lot of the stuff I post here. So since you're here, you might as well listen to this douchebage call an answering machine and leave abusive messages for the cable company who he was having problems with. It's kinda amusing how quickly he runs out of nasty things to call them and starts to repeat himself.
On a more serious note, y'know what I like about people who call and abuse people who quite possibly have nothing to do with the problem? Fuck All.
Okay, so maybe you only really want to pull this one out of you've got washboard abs, but this convertable t-shirt which transforms the wearer from a normal (albeit geeky) person to a zombie and back again made me chuckle.
I don't understand a single word these people are saying, but I do understand that they're showing off vending machines that distribute live crabs to the hungry masses.
They keep the crabs at 5 degrees, which seems to keep them pretty docile in their little plastic containers, but they start getting more lively pretty soon after being dumped out of the machine!
No, we're not talking about Casanova, we're talking about how to use the toilet so you are allowed to wear pants like a big kid. This crazy Japanese video does a reasonable job of making going to the toilet look like a fun family activity.
It's been a long time since I first saw this, and I know there's a subtitled version somewhere, I just can't find it right now.
Yes, we've seen plush Cthulhu before, but never one so cuddly as this. From the site:
Yes, there's nothing like a horrific elder god to snuggle with. That tentacled face and freakish wings at which humans have quailed since the dawn of time is perfect for scaring away monsters under the bed and cuddling up to during a horror movie. Those are tentacles of looooove, people. And we promise he shall not rend your entrails yea unto to the bowels of the earth.
I know a certain kid who is going to love this. Or else.
For something a bit lighter, let's examine The Time That Superman Accidentally Killed His Parents With Pirate Filth. No really, this is great.
Superman time-travels with the Kents to go check out the backstory on a pirate with lethal results. Superman gets all teared up about it. Superman finds evidence that they probably would've died even without the time-travel, and suddenly it's all peachy again.
I love the comment from Ffordesoon: The ending in particular always struck me as weird, because it's like "Oh well, as long as *I* didn't kill them, everything's fine!"
But... but THEY'RE STILL DEAD, SUPERMAN.
Yeaaah. Weird doesn't really begin to cover it.
Sooo apparently anti-abortion proponents have once again been distributing wanted posters for doctors who provide abortions. As the clip points out, these turned up in the 90's and doctors got killed, so it's not too much of a stretch to anticipate this new batch might encourage similar behaviour.
For the record, if you're the sort of person who thinks that this is a good idea, that it's reasonable to kill these doctors, then get the fuck off my website and don't come back.
Roadkill. It happens. In my experience it usually happens in a spot where I'm going to have to stop for a period of time, on a motorbike, right next to the ex-bunny/fox/moose/whatever.
Maybe I should get me one of the charming little critters available for purchase at Roadkilltoys.com and desensitise myself? They'd probably make a great present for the little sociopath in your life.
I love this.
I love the way it looks like it's supposed to hang on a shelf display in the hundreds. I love the exploding motorcycle. I love Richard Dean Anderson's hair.
Honestly, I would buy one of these.
The dog featured in this video has got to hold some sort of record for going from "I'm going to make sweet sweet love to you all night long" to "I'm so unconscious you might want to check for a pulse" in a matter of seconds. I mean the thud as his head hits the floor is just impressive.
First of all I should warn you that this video is a full 10 minutes long.
That must pale in comparison to the time taken to edit it all together though... What we appear to have here is a collection of videos of where people have dropped their video camera (or in a few cases, put it in harms way intentionally) edited together into one long take.
Apparently it won the Experimental category on Vimeo last year.
Youtube user wendyvainity likes to play around with various animation packages and post the results online. I'm sure it would take me a long time to get to the level of competence she has acquired in the last couple of years.
It matters not though, for even were I to apply myself, I would have the good sense not to post such pure, unadulterated madness were I able to create it.
Seriously some of this stuff seems to provide a window into what schizophrenia is like.
I'm going to straight up admit that this is not worth watching.
However I had to watch it, so now those of you who just click the links without reading for warnings etc have watched it as well. To those who have read this and as such will avoid clicking, congratulations, you have one less reason to rage against Yahoo Answers than your more impulsive brethren.
Some of this stuff is just unreal. Often taking inspiration from computer games and webcomics, a lot of it is cute and macabre at the same time.
Yes Lewis, I'm thinking of you as I post this.
Just a quick one here, check out these LEGO ads.
I have to agree with the commentators, I think that's doing it right.
Haiku Of The Dead
Illustrated Zombie Poems
Make For Creepy Fun
Things are getting strange my friends.
It used to be that if someone stole a laptop, you'd straight up call them an arsehole. However, every time I tell this story people say "Oh that's nice of them!"
A professor in Sweden had his laptop stolen with about ten years of work on it. Later he received a USB stick containing all of the missing documentation; it seems the thief recognised that it was probably important and went to the trouble of backing it all up for him.
Navel Fluff. Some people are grossed out by it. Some people find it intriuging.
Some people find it so fascinating that they start the Worlds Biggest Collection Of One Person's Navel Fluff and get it certified by Guinness World Records.
They breed them weird in Western Australia don't they?
Do you have awesome hair? Do you hate the idea of a bicycle helmet messing it up? Do you have $450 to spend?
All I'll say is this: That boy can play bass.
Lorizzle ipsum dolizzle sit amet, consectetizzle adipiscing elit. Nullizzle sapizzle velizzle, pimpin' volutpizzle, suscipizzle quis, daahng dawg vizzle, arcu. Pellentesque egizzle pot. Sizzle erizzle. Fusce gizzle dolizzle dapibizzle turpizzle fo shizzle mammasay mammasa mamma oo sa. Maurizzle yo mamma uhuh ... yih!
I'm in the shizzle turpizzle. Vestibulum izzle tortor. Ass eleifend rhoncizzle stuff. In get down get down dope mah nizzle dictumst. Donec dapibizzle. Crackalackin tellus mammasay mammasa mamma oo sa, break yo neck, yall eu, mattizzle ac, eleifend vitae, stuff. Tellivizzle suscipizzle. Integizzle sempizzle velit sizzle you son of a bizzle.
I can't remember the last time I read copy for an advertisement that included the words "actually an accurate representation of semen." It's The ad copy, not semen.
I mean I'm assuming it's not refreshing...rather refreshing.
It's a damn shame that the gallery isn't more user friendly, but Lessons With Children by Paul Verhoeven is still worthy of an archive binge.
I grinned at Cannon-Eyes Mary, I chuckled at Lesson #88 (Beards!), and laughed at It's A Fap.
Okay now Emperor Nero is spraying hot fat from his eyes for children to drink... I may not get any more updating done today...
The gamer geeks out there will probably have seen the Assassins Creed: Brotherhood trailer, but you might not have seen it like this.
Yes, I'm a geek.
A lot of people have an ex (or maybe more than one) who they really don't get along with anymore. They have all the Examples:
She cheated on me twice.
He likes a finger up his ass during sex.
She's a Catholic.dirt on each other and they would love nothing more than to dish it all up.
If you had the opportunity, would you do so on C-Span?
Todd Seavey gave it the old college try.
Apparently during the cold war a Doctor Ewan Cameron developed techniques used by the Nazi scientists to screw around with the personalities of his mentally ill patients. It's alleged he did this after being recruited by the CIA.
For an example of what went on, a woman named Gail Kastner was 19 years old with a little depression when he started treating her. When she went home she acted like a toddler, including urinating on the floor.
It's the classic story of Boy meets Girl, Boy Gets Girl, Girl Grows Tumour Which Turns Into A Tiny Indian Shaman Who Fires Lasers From His Hands...
Curse my curiousity, I kinda want to see this now, even after the synopsis is all laid out... Unfortunately for people with a similarly curious bent, it's not difficult to find.
Oh, did I mention it features Tony Curtis?
Don't you hate it when you're shown something awesome, like a Twitter feed presented as belonging to Batman, and can see the next hour or so being wasted on archive binging.
With gems like "People ask me what I'll do when Gotham is finally free of crime. Three words: Grow. A. Beard." or "Another Robin died today. Vat of acid. I'm really going to miss this one. He was a scary good barista." I'm not sure I can say I feel that time was wasted... just... not optimised...
Thanks again Eric.
Check out this article at wired.com about some of the more entertaining military experiments carried out in the name of destruction.
I really do think my favourite has to be the Bat Bombs, though the goo-gun looks almost like you're turning the enemy into some sort of Resident Evil creature... That's always entertaining.
If you prefer a more candid form of iVoyeurism to that offered by the "weather app" below, you could always grab the Camera Camouflage app instead.
This triggers a fake phonecall and then takes a snapshot everytime you speak, so while you're pretending to have a conversation with your Possibly the only type
you'll ever have if
you get caught using this app.fake friend, it's happily documenting the movements of your unsuspecting See also:
Cute Girl At Gym
Cute Girl At Office
Happily Playing Childrentarget of your creepy affection.
Okay so they have the full lowdown for you over at Gizmodo, but basically in addition to what you'd actually expect from a weather app you can subscribe to "Weather Girls" who post videos.
I guess the attraction here is that you'll post a comment on their video and they'll comment back and you'll form a friendship which deepens and grows and eventually she'll become your girlfriend just like you always dreamed and you can live together forever under the stars and everyone will be sorry they called you a virgin!
No seriously, why?
It's a mystery as to exactly how long it's been since I first saw this creepy little bastard, but every time I stumble across it again it's just hypnotic.
I considered not posting this, but I figure it's old enough that there might be some of you who have never seen it before.
It would seem that the general feeling they're trying to get across in this video is that a bucket of communal pudding is an excellent addition to your next party, meeting or even used in some sort of weird infidelity.
I remain unconvinced, and the kid in the pic I've used seems to share my lack of confidence.
I'm kind of a fan of this flowchart for creating female characters. If you're very lucky you might pass The Bechdel Test!
It's worth taking note of the comment here that not all 2-dimensional characters are bad, and indeed are the backbone of fiction. It's just not great to see lots of well-developed male characters with no interesting females.
I think it's worth visiting just to watch the "What Is An Atheist?" video...
My initial reaction when I noticed this site was "Really? Is this guy trying to represent all Atheists or something?"; on reading a little it became clear that this website isn't trying to answer questions on behalf of all atheists, just the one doing the writing.
In 1991, Marc Quinn drew 4.5 litres of his own blood over close to a year and used it to create a sculpture of his own head.
This article goes into some of the details of the follow up sculptures he creates every 5 years to document his aging process.
Check it out.
These are funny in a sad sort of way... Over at Mentalfloss.com there's an article on old photographs, and more specifically the sort of things one finds written on them.
I guess the modern-day equivalent is "untagging" on facebook with a similar comment, but it just doesn't feel the same as these film prints with things like "These are hideous of Emmet & me. Wish I were as photogenic as the dog." scrawled on them.
Gotta say this outfit is pretty damn impressive.
I don't have a whole lot to say about it... Hell, I'm not even saying I get it, but it's pretty damn shiny. Check out the pics.
I've got to say this is the single most awful rendition I've ever heard, of a song which I already have absolutely no love for.
As if it's not already bad enough with Andy wheezing along, the hellish playing of Andy's animal slaves... just look at them... surely praying desperately to their absent saviour for a swift death...
Ah well, at least it's followed by a creepy rubber frog puppet possessed by a gremlin, right?
Well that's just brilliant.
It would appear that pedobear himself made an appearance at the New York Comic Con, hugging people, dancing to Michael Jackson and distributing candy. The NYPD must be kicking themselves at missing the opportunity to capture this evil pedo-ringleader.
It all came flooding back to me this morning and I knew I had to rediscover and share it.
The randomness... it burns me...
Why did he make this video? I'm really struggling to understand the thinking behind multiple takes of this impressive pedo-smile...
When Mr Fish told me about this I didn't believe it either, but here it is and I have to admit it qualifies. I've gotta say I'm pretty disappointed in the Stormtrooper outfit, it really doesn't feel very stormtroopery... Sexy? Yes. A Stormtrooper? No.
I would hope that you're all up to date on Cyanide & Happiness, but just in case I couldn't resist linking to this travesty.
You'd think the name would give it away for him right?
Then, when you've sufficiently recovered, you can check out his main page here, listen to some of his Tracks available on his albumn,
"Toilet Secrets" include:
Fully Functional Penis
Let Me Stick It In You
Let's Get A Steak
and more!original work.
More and more it becomes obvious that Sesame Street and The Muppets have somehow acquired Probably as a result of all that voodoo
I experimented in with Big Bird back in the day...my soul. Honestly though, how could I pass up on Grover spoofing the Old Spice Guy?
Of course I could hardly link the Superman travesty below without also linking to one that is definitely satire.
Check out the trailer for Italian Spiderman, a parody of the Italian action-adventure films of the 60s and 70s.
Full episodes are available on youtube for your mind-bending perusal.
This is an old one, but when I stumbled on it again I just had to share the pain.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a fucking horrible green screen effect of a guy in an awful Superman costume paired with a woman in an awful Spiderman/girl costume prancing around in some of the worst choreography I've seen?
Yup, definitely the last one.
Part of me really wants to see the whole movie and figure out what sort of plot they had for this thing. Was it supposed to be so bad? I may never know.
Robotics manufacturer Sakakibara-Kikai have created a prohibitively expensive bi-pedal exoskeleton for kids.
Okay so it's not exactly an AT-ST, the gait is more of a shuffle, but why are you still reading this? Go read the article and wish you were a rich spoilt child growing up with this sort of stuff!
While I'm posting musical content...
So for about a minute I was just confused... then Jamie & Adam from Mythbusters show up and it doesn't get less confusing.
Do you remember wishing you had just a ridiculous amount of pillows? Maybe you were very small at the time? Maybe you were very high at the time? Maybe you'd have been very jealous of these guys who've produced a song about their pillow losing its innocence.
If you want to see it running in the opposite direction it's here. In fact, I reccomend it as a follow-up.
Pretty cool huh? There's a video as well, check it out over at MAKE, it'll make you want one for your very own.
Also cool and along the same lines of water appearing to do strange things is this uphill water illusion.
Wow. It's been a long time since I had a decent Archive Binge over at redmeat.com...
Check out this strip for a nice little antipodean reference.
I'm not afraid to say I'm a fan of cleavage.
If that cleavage happens to be busting out of a custom steampunk corset on a girl who is also wearing a pocket watch and goggles, I'm not going to complain. So when Eric sends me links like this one I'm pretty happy.
I'm pretty sure a lot of people will find this pretty disturbing... I assume it's a charger...
I kind of want one!
Man I really love these chuck-norris-like facts about Frank Oppenheimer... To give you a taste:
FACT After getting blackballed out of academia during the Red Scare in the late 1940s, Frank bought a cattle ranch in rural Colorado and became a high school science teacher. There, he taught kids about thermodynamics via trips to the city dump to scavenge machine parts, and augmented a lesson on the biology of the ear by killing and dissecting a kitten. His experiences teaching science to kids later led him to found The Exploratorium.
You've likely seen The Oatmeal before, but if not you should check out the post linked in the title... and if you're like me you'll spend the next couple of hours clicking the next article... no just one more... okay two more and that's it...
It would appear that this site hasn't been around for very long, but already has little gems like the following:
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was my time of the month before we hooked up. I was really horny, and I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Personally, I think you’re being kinda a pussy about the whole thing, but ok, sorry I intentionally chili-dogged you.
As Mr Doctorow says, I think it's worth waiting to get to the Baa Baa part of this Happy Together/Paper Planes lip-synch medley.
I actually think this advertising idea is pretty cool. I used to talk to people about things like their home security all the time and there's a huge amount who think that because they live in a complex they're somehow immune to burglaries.
Basically you come home (or even go to leave if you're home when it's delivered) and find this little box sitting inside your apartment by your front door, with the ADT logo and "Breaking into your apartment is easier than you think" written on it.
Now if only they could get it to start scooting around like that guy in the video last month...
Who doesn't love Animal from The Muppet Show?
Terrorists, that's who.
Check out this old clip of a "drumming duel" with Once billed as "The World's Greatest Drummer"Buddy Rich, or the terrorists win.
In this excerpt from the BBC's Animal Camera we get to see the view from cameras attached to both a Peregrine Falcon & a Gos Hawk.
It says something about me that I can't watch the falcon do a barrel roll without hearding Lylat Wars SFX doesn't it?
So the pope made some comments about "atheist extremism" and "aggressive secularism", casually Godwinning himself while he was at it by saying that the Nazis were atheists regardless of what they wore proudly on their belt-buckles.
Unsurprisingly, Richard Dawkins had something to say about this. Also unsurprisingly, I think it's worth listening to.
A Special Edition Box Set of IT Crowd DVDs has just been released, and it includes a double-sided board game. Check out the amazon.co.uk listing which has pics that show quite a lot of detail.
Also, the video they have there of Maurice Moss suggesting that you purchase it, instead of Even though everyone does it,
and it is very hard to get caught...illegally downloading it, is great.
There's not a whole lot to say about a kid running around a marching band and getting pwned by a tuba player... Only the sound of guilty laughter.
Apparently this is what happens when you have a David After Dentist reaction to the laughing gas, but are a little older...
What we have here is 10 minutes of drugged babbling from a kid and his sister on a ride home from the dentist after having their wisdom teeth removed.
There's also a vid straight after they got into the car and after they got home if this excites you that much.
There's a little too much panning about at the start of this video, but I think it's worth it just to see the little guy's face at the end...
I'm really not sure why it doesn't arch it's back etc... maybe that's for Wankbot 2.0?
When he gets set off he sits himself down in front of a webcam and does his best to bust out some karaoke.
I think this could breathe some new life into the humble Rickroll.
So the Assistant Attorney General of Michigan appears to be a bigoted, hate-mongering fucktard.
He decided that he didn't the University of Michigan having elected an openly gay Student Body President, so spends his spare time running a Blog devoted to the guy, protesting outside his home (and from video posted on the blog it would seem that he's videotaping him), stalks him on facebook...
Seems kinda creepy to me. He is, of course, a christian, so it's totally he right to freak out over I won't join the many
who have already wondered
out loud if Shirvells behaviour
is indicative of repressed
homosexual urges.homosexual behaviour.
It's worth noting that he Godwins himself constantly.
You have got to be kidding me. Check out this advertisement for the "Snazzy Napper".
I think Paul Verhoeven put it well when he said "See if you can spot what's a bit iffy about this product. I'll give you a hint: it happens almost right away.".
Can you imagine getting on any given US Airline and popping this classy item on? I'm sure you Would be inviting an
session with airport
security staff.wouldn't be hassled at all.
Sometimes I wonder if wrongtown is a worthwhile endeavor, if it's taking time away from other, far more worthy websites. Then someone directs me to a website about Hot Chicks Plunging Their Toilets and I feel better.
Especially when I see the various other "Hot Chicks" sites... Hot Chicks With Sand Dicks... Blowing Their Asses Dry... With Stubbed Toes Making Sex Faces... With Dogs With Boners... With Their Fists In Their Mouths... With Hotdogs In Their Mouths... Picking Up Dog Shit... Smiling At Ground Zero...
Seriously you people, what the fuck?
There's something about this type of game that demands I conquer it before moving on.
Little Einstein's Manhattan Project is not exactly classy, putting you in control of a little plane and bombing the shit out of terrified little people. Regardless, it has that "Destroy, Upgrade, Destroy More Efficiently" tree built into it that makes it easy to sit down and spend an hour focussed on terrorising innocents in pursuit of the A-bomb.
Thanks to Tobi for sending this one in, it's pretty much just pure, high-octane cute.
There she is tells the story of Doki & Nabi, a rabbit and a cat who fall in love in a world where interspecies affairs are frowned upon. All set to Korean pop music.
Moments to watch for include a gang-member accidentally spitting into his face-mask, attempted use of a Poké Ball to capture an embarrassed boyfriend, and an intentional motorcycle accident.
When I first saw this I really hoped it was the official DVD packaging.
Unfortunately not, but I don't think I was being too unrealistic considering how much nostalgia they managed to pack into the movie.
From Eric over at Echo Fox Three we have a link to these handy items for finding your way home if you're abducted by the type of alien race that is good at finding lifeforms to probe but bad at remembering where to return them to...
They even come with a money-back guarantee if you're not able to find your way home!
Hey wait a minute...
Finally, those crazy kids over at fleshlight have released a sex toy That is, if you don't consider
buying a fake vagina weird.weird enough for you to claim you bought it for the lulz.
No seriously you could totally get away with saying you bought it for novelty factor. You don't think so?
If there's one thing youtube has provided us with, it's the ability to take those songs you make up in your head when you're out of your goddamn mind, and publish them on the internet easily for everyone to see.
No matter how bad an idea it is.
UPDATE: Apparently someone agrees that it's a bad idea, and took the video down, but you can still see the original (plus an autotuned version) here.
I think for a long time now I've known that I need to run around in a transparent ball on a lake, just like jesus! However in my mind I've always been less clumsy than this kid.